Archive for May, 2007

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(Almost) one month together . . .

May 30, 2007

This is probably the fourth or fifth time that I’ve tried to start this post. Sometimes, I find it difficult to express myself in words (probably not the best thing to admit for someone with an M.A. in English) because I want to relate something as vividly as I can, and all that I seem to manage are cliché after cliché. The more important my subject is, the more difficult it becomes for me to find the words I want. Since I consider tonight to have been one of the most momentous nights for me in SL, trying to describe it, to help my reader feel what I did tonight, leaves me frustrated as I type, erase, then retype what I’m trying to say.

Perhaps the best strategy is to plainly state what I’m feeling: absolute joy. In case you were not aware, tonight is the night on which Tobie and I decided to celebrate our one month anniversary (and don’t get onto me for using “anniversary” even though I’m not talking about years unless you can come up with a better word for me to use :p). We wanted to spend our anniversary somewhere romantic, and we eventually agreed to go to the Lost Gardens of Apollo, which we both had been to before, but never for romantic reasons (by the way, thanks to all who suggested romantic destinations on my and Tobie’s blogs). I think it turned out to be an excellent choice. It is a beautiful build with many spots for couples to enjoy.

Tobie and I visited a few different spots, including the Bridge to Nowhere and the dance area (I believe it was called Salsa y Boleros). Unfortunately, while we were dancing, we both crashed and had to relog. When I got back on, Tobie told me she had found a better place in the sim, so we left the dance floor behind for our own little area of the Gardens.

The two of us did a lot of dancing, talking, and, um, other things 🙂 Tobie is *so* wonderful, and I still cannot believe at times that we are actually together. I don’t think I could be happier in my Second Life right now (well, unless I actually found a way to stay and didn’t have to take my hiatus).

It looks like I may have one more night with Tobie before I have to leave. I will cherish it as I have tonight. I’m an unbelievably lucky kitty 🙂

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Farewell, Super Fun Happy Club

May 27, 2007

Yesterday, I attended the closing party for Super Fun Happy Club (SFHC). In case you’re not familiar with SFHC, it was an installation by Arahan Claveau that sought to inform about the injustices faced by gay and lesbian individuals throughout the world. I remember seeing images of SFHC on Flickr (generally in Arahan’s photostream), but I didn’t really know what it all was about until I read about it on Codie’s blog. She mentioned there that Arahan was closing the installation, so I made it a priority to visit it the next time I logged in.

SFHC was of special interest to me due to recently starting a relationship with Tobie. As I mentioned in an earlier post, this is the first time I’ve ever attempted a relationship with another woman for a few reasons. One is that it is something that would not be accepted by my family (and at least some of my friends). Countless times when I was younger, I had the idea reinforced by the statements of friends and family that such a lifestyle was wrong, perverse, and outright disgusting. Even as I managed to distance myself from such influences and became more accepting of different lifestyles, I still couldn’t picture myself in any role than that which had been set out for me. Eventually, I would meet a nice guy, get married, etc., etc. I didn’t even think of any alternatives.

Another reason I never tried such a relationship is that I never would admit to myself that I had an attraction to someone of the same sex. I had close friends whom I loved, but that was it. They were friends. I can’t say that I ever felt more than just friendship for any of them, as it’s hard for me to do that retrospectively. At the time, I labeled them as very good friends, and that’s the way I continue to see them.

A final reason I never considered such a relationship is because no one has ever really pushed my boundaries. I would never be the initiator of such a relationship—it’s just not in me. If Tobie hadn’t attempted to get a reaction out of me, we would likely still just be good friends, and I would continue to consider myself completely straight instead of bi.

Because of all this, SFHC now had some relevance to my personal life. I certainly would have been interested in seeing the installation before, but now it had that much more of a meaning for me. I remember what an eye-opening experience it was to read about the prejudice that still exists in the world. I had no idea that to be anything other than straight meant death in some countries. Of course, it can mean death even in our own, as there seem to be plenty of people willing to take out their own anger and frustration on the GLBT community. But to see governments punishing people with death for something that is in no way a crime . . .

Tobie and I later visited SFHC together, as she had yet to see it. While there, Arahan tped in, and we spent the rest of the night talking to him and Raul Crimson, who arrived later. Both of them attempt to address GLBT issues with their art (check their Flickr photostreams to get a sense of what they’re doing), and I feel fortunate that such people are around to continue pressing the issue and not just fading into the background. In fact, that is the meaning behind the name Super Fun Happy Club, as I remember it from one of the notecards in the installation. It stated that too often, people in the GLBT community act as if everything is OK, when it is in fact not. We can’t ignore all the prejudice and injustice that persists in the world.

Because of all this, SFHC was special to me, and I was sad to see it go. I hope that Arahan continues his work and comes up with something new soon. He had a lot of people show up for the closing party last night. A lot of people who appreciate what he did. A lot of people who want him to keep forcing people to question what they believe through his art.

Arahan at the closing party.

Farewell, Super Fun Happy Club. I’m better for having known you 🙂

If you’re interested in seeing more images from the party last night, you can check my Flickr photosteam as well as those of Arahan, Raul, Looker Lumet, and many others who attended the party.

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Most romantic SL location

May 25, 2007

Tobie and I decided that the first blogger party really marked the beginning of our relationship, so June 6 would mark our first month together. Since I likely won’t be in SL at that time, we’re going to celebrate it a little early. We thought we’d reach out to the blogger community to see if any of you had recommendations for the most romantic place in SL.

So, if you know of anyplace that is particularly special and wouldn’t mind commenting, we’d love to hear your suggestions 🙂

Thanks in advance!

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Concerts and kitties and cool guys

May 25, 2007

Today’s been a mixed bag in SL, making me both very happy and rather sad. Let’s forget the sad stuff for a bit and dip into the all the good things that happened first.

I got to see my friend Annie’s band Toe’d Up play for the first time since April 28 🙂 Yes, once again, I have to mention how awesome they are. I’d really like to see these guys go on to bigger and better things. I think they have the talent. They just need their break.

Annie and the boys on stage.

Today, they once again played a mixture of covers and original songs as they’ve done before, though they changed the playlist a little, adding such songs as Radiohead’s “Creep.” There were a *lot* of people in attendance at Sanctuary Rock, and the lag was bad, but it’s always good to be able to see them play in world. All the group members were on stage (at least the ones I’ve seen before) except for Geo, so I still haven’t managed to capture the entire group together in a pic. Maybe someday 🙂 Anyway, another fantastic show. Toe’d Up rocks! 🙂

After the concert, I wasted some time wandering the grid and taking a few pics. I didn’t manage to take many, but I like the few that I decided to keep and upload to Flickr. Once again, I wore my black tabby Hybrid skin along with some hair and piercings I had just bought from Deviant Kitties (*love* DK hair).

Behind the club Backyard.

Finally, Tobie logged on, and I talked to her a bit while she was in Midian and I was shopping for a motorcycle, which I’ve still yet to buy. There’s an event this weekend at Chopperz (I think) that will showcase many of the bikes offered in SL, so it might be something to attend if you’re interested in seeing what’s out there. Not sure if I’ll make it there or not.

Anyway, back to Tobie. She eventually got tired of Midian and returned to her skybox, and I tped in to spend some time with her. As always, I was very happy to see her, and I think we got to talk for an hour or so before she had to log off and go to bed 🙂

After Tobie left, I logged off for a while, until I saw in my e-mail that my friend Dirk had sent me an IM to see if I was in world (the friends list wasn’t working well at all today). Since I wanted to talk to him, I logged back into SL, and he ended up tping into the temporary skybox I have rezzed on my land. He made me laugh several times tonight with a gesture he kept using, and we talked about what’s going on in both our lives. He’s a really cool guy, and I’m glad that I met him, as he made me feel a little bit better 🙂

So, this is where I get to the not-so-happy part of my post. Feel free to quit reading now, if you like 🙂

Question: have you ever had something looming on the horizon, yet you continually ignore it, until one day you realize the event is practically upon you, and you’re not really prepared? If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s OK, as I worded that more abstractly than probably was necessary.

Anyway, to get to the point, I have known for a while that I’m going to be moving soon. I finished my degree at the beginning of this month, and my lease is up May 31. Probably doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? You leave one place, you move to another and life goes on. Well, here’s the problem—the area I’m temporarily moving to does not have broadband access, so I’ll be limited to dial-up. Yeah, dial-up.

Of course, this means that I won’t be able to log into SL until I move once again. The thing is, I knew this was coming, but I totally put it out of my mind. I mean, I even added almost L$7000 to my account today because it was getting low, not realizing that I have less than a week left in SL until I move.

So, yeah, that’s it. I have 4-5 nights of SL left before I have to take a hiatus. I may only be gone for a week. Maybe a month. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ll miss my SL friends dearly 😦

I actually debated over whether or not to make this post, as I *will* be back. I just didn’t want people to think I had disappeared, I guess.

But there’s no need for goodbyes or anything now. I still have a bit of time left. Maybe I’ll see some of you around 🙂

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Hell’s nekos?

May 24, 2007

So, when Zoe added my post from yesterday to the Blogosphere, she added this at the top of the post:

I love Chloe’s Neko Biker Gang idea…Count me in!

Hell’s Nekos, anyone?

Though the whole biker gang thing was a joke (even though I wouldn’t mind roughing up a few “sex wiht me” guys), maybe it could be an idea for a blogger party theme. It would mean I would actually have to buy a motorcycle, but I’m generally not too opposed to shopping 🙂

Anyway, I don’t have a lot to post about today. Yesterday, after Tobie made me neurotic about my appearance ;), we worked on a slightly altered face shape for my black tabby skin. I’m not sure that I’m sold on it, but we’ll see. Later on, Tobie went into Midian, and I spent my time IMing back and forth with her and with a few other friends. At one point, my friend tped me to shop with her and a couple of her friends, but they ended up ditching me (just kidding Sexy—I know you didn’t intend to). So, I went back to my temp skybox (rezzed using my new Mystitool) until Tobie finally got tired of Midian and I tped over to her skybox to see her.

*sighs* I don’t even have pics to show you guys. Sorry 🙂

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Black cat

May 23, 2007

So yesterday, during my insomnia-fueled wanderings about the grid, I decided to buy a Hybrid skin that I had been thinking about over the last few days. I wanted to get a dark skin, as every other skin I have ranges from fair to utterly pale. There were three shades I was considering: a reddish-brown, a darker version of the reddish-brown, and a black (actually, dark gray). I first showed the skins to my friend Dirk, who preferred the black skin. Then, I showed the skins to Tobie, who liked the reddish-brown skin, but seemed to like the black skin better. Since I believe strongly in democracy and stuff, I went with the black skin.

Tough kitty.

Since I had a new skin, I thought I’d go with a new look. OK, OK, I know, it’s not an entirely new look, as the outfit I’m wearing is the same I wore one night a couple of months ago, but I think that it really looks different with this skin, hair, and ears.

My first trip to the Block back in March.

It’s funny, but I actually felt a little tougher walking around like this. I felt more intimidating than intimidated, and I just dared anyone to mess with me. I even went motorcycle shopping. Maybe I’d start my own neko biker gang, and we’d go around roughing up newbies and guys who said “sex wiht me.”

Of course, all this changed when I was approached by a guy in a store, when I instantly reverted to my usual self and cringed, thinking that I would once again politely endure a tedious conversation that would soon devolve into a request for sex.

Fortunately, that didn’t happen. In fact, the man who approached me was a perfect gentleman who had read this blog and wondered about my insomnia! I felt that I had initially responded rather cooly towards him, and I regretted that a lot. It’s unfortunate that 90% of the guys on SL ask for sex almost immediately after starting a conversation. I can imagine it makes it much harder for the decent guys who actually are interested in being sociable rather than just scoring some quick slex.

Anyway, thank you, Lord . . . um, can’t remember your surname offhand (sorry). I have a *little* more faith in the male population of SL now 🙂

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Lovely, lovely insomnia

May 22, 2007

Ugh, it’s a quarter after six in the morning as I start this post, and I’m suffering from a bout of insomnia. What better time to write some nonsense on my blog? 🙂

Actually, the fact that I can’t seem to get to sleep right now reminds me of why I started SL in the first place. I found myself up at night, and having heard of SL a few months beforehand, decided that I would give the game a try.

Yes, I thought it was a game. Another Sims, in which I would make my own little 3-D person, give her a little social life, and spend a few hours having her do some of the things I wasn’t doing in RL, like spend exorbidant amounts of money on clothes (OK, OK, it actually took me a while before I went nuts with the clothes shopping). Quickly, though, I realized that this was more than just a game.

I soon became addicted, and I spent sleepless night after sleepless night exploring the grid. At first, I was just interested in the possibilities of this virtual world. The idea of building, making clothes, etc., really appealed to me. Soon enough, though, I met some great people—people who were kind, generous, and interesting. People often unlike those around me in RL.

In many ways, SL has been therapeutic. It’s helped me through the end of a relationship, the completion of my degree, and, well, the sleepless nights that might have driven me crazy otherwise 🙂 It’s forced me to look at some of my beliefs and question some of my prejudices. It’s been a confusing but wonderful experience.

Hmm . . . where am I going with this post? Let me think a sec . . .

Oh, I guess part of what has me writing is that a lot of people I’ve talked to in SL have really sad stories, and maybe I’m just trying to remind myself of how beneficial the experience has been for me as I’ve worked through issues in my life over the last few months. Maybe I’m typing all this to remind myself to always be caring and patient and to approach everything with an open mind. Maybe I’m trying to encourage myself to be helpful and never be judgmental.

Or maybe I shouldn’t be typing this early in the morning after not getting any sleep 🙂

Hee-hee, maybe I should just start posting bits of news here and forego the introspective ramblings.

Um, so have you seen the new clouds, etc., we’ll be getting? Yeah, pretty neat, huh? 🙂